Friday, July 27, 2012

I think my temporary driver is trying to kill me

Okay, I *may* be a bit dramatic...but I suspect Mr. Li is trying to kill me.  Or at least make me vomit.

My regular driver Fred is wonderful.  He is a good driver...he slows down for potholes, rarely needs to honk his horn and knows all the good short-cuts in town.  He drives so smoothly I am able to read in the car without feeling sick at the end of the ride.  Unfortunately Fred is on leave for two weeks...and Mr. Li is my driver.

I was a bit scared the first day but wrote it off to the aftermath of the typhoon.  The flooding, debris and fallen trees all were perfectly acceptable reasons for weaving all over the road.  Even the several near death brushes with other cars as we swerved to avoid random stuff seemed reasonable.  The fact he was driving very fast despite these obstacles I wrote off to his worry I would miss my 8:30 meeting because traffic was so bad.  After all he is very quick to leap out of the car to open my door (a nice reminder of some the southern gentleman manners I had been introduced to in Arkansas) and help me with my bag - he must be a nice person right?

That night, in crazy traffic, he rushed my friend and colleague Simon to the train station.  Traffic of course was horrendous and the jerky stop and go approach to driving was again easily attributed to the sheer numbers of crazy drivers on the road and the continued torrential downpour...Oh and rushed meant the longest drive to the train station ever...but again maybe that was because roads were still closed because of the typhoon and there was a lot of traffic.

But then I began to notice a trend. First the seemingly random abrupt braking that sends all my belongings to the floor of the car - always conveniently timed to interrupt a important email I am typing or jolt me awake when I am just about to get a good snooze on.

I have also looked out the window to suddenly see someone so alarmingly close to hitting us that I couldn't help but scream.  This is usually accompanied by a sharp car honk from Mr. Li - as if saying "mission accomplished, we scared the crap out of her".

The worse is the car-sickness though.  Among his talents Mr. Li is the master of hitting potholes, road obstructions, curbs... well you get the idea.  He does this at top speed only to slam on his brakes and swerve.  He also enjoys swerving randomly between lanes...now swerving between lanes is a common pass-time amongst Chinese drivers...but usually it is to avoid the above mentioned obstructions or to find a quicker path in the flow of traffic.  Mr. Li on the other hand is a fan of the random swerve even when the road is empty.  If he can make my belongings slide across the seat even better.  I have survived the back roads of Arkansas without once feeling car sick.  Now I arrive at every destination wishing I had taken gravel before I left.

The cherry on top comes every morning when he takes his newly created short-cut...the wrong way down a one way street.

I would take a video but I am too busy squeezing my eyes shut and clinging to the "oh shit" handle while I pray to everyone's gods...and Fred is not back for another week.

1 comment:

  1. <> Oh Lordy, take the travel sickness pills for a week from the sounds of it!

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