A love of all things Bling

One thing is clear - the Chinese love bling.  Any kind of bling.  Gold, gilt, rhinestones, crystals, sparkles, satin.  And they like bling on everything - clothes, furniture, wallpaper, nails, shoes...

It is really quite remarkable.  And I can't stop staring at it.  I am slowly being initiated into all things bling courtesy of my team - they are all women and mostly young.  And each of them displays a love of all things shiny that I am coming to understand is the Chinese aesthetic.   Here are some glimpses of the bling I have encountered:

This is the cell phone cover from one of the girls on my team.  It is relatively mild as far as these things go.  I am planning a separate blog on cell phone covers in China.

We like to call this style of decor Chinese Baroque - it is an homage to the ornate, gilded decor of another era - and prevalent in so many Chinese homes I have seen.  Many of the apartment choices we see have an over abundance of this style.  We have taken to asking to only see apartments in Ikea Style.

Two areas where I see the most "bling" are in shoes (particularly sandals) and nails.  The sandals range from the simple flip flop with rhinestones/ crystals on them to elaborately beaded designs. Here are a selection from my team (with one observed at the nail salon).  These shoes are part of every day wear and do not seem to come out only on dress-up occasions.  In fact, the girls on my team keep these sandals under their desk to wear when their "office shoes" hurt their feet.  

                                                 

Absolutely the best place to observe the bling is in the nail art that so many Chinese women wear.  I understand this is a trend that spans the globe but I do think that the Chinese do this best.  You can have glitter and diamonds and bows stuck on your nails - in any colour imaginable.  In fact, I am becoming a little bit local - the red nails below (with the gold sparkles below) are my "Happy National Day" nails since they rock the colours of the Chinese flag. 

I will admit that my team has been pushing me towards these and even now I feel very uncomfortable with them - they are way more bling that is really me.  They seem to be wearing me down though and the next time you see me I may be sporting some diamonds and bows.

Some of the choices in the nail salon.

My current bling

The lovely Sophia rocking some bows on her fingers, including a bow on that finger!

A bit hard to see but she has a row of crystals along her cuticle.

Adding on some bows - notice the pinky is all glitter too

And some on the toes!

It is really remarkable what they can put glitter on.  And I afraid I am starting to like it.

The Weather Forecast in China

As Shenzhen sits and waits to see the impact of Super Typhoon Usagi (it is expected to hit Hong KOng head-on, we usually feel a lesser impact because Hong Kong and the new territories shelter us from the brunt of the storm but we are on yellow alert) I think about the weather in Shenzhen.

By and large it is mostly hot in Shenzhen.  And Humid.  Today for instance is 36C, 48C with the humidity.  And in the winter it doesn't get too cold.  By 10C people have pulled out their parkas.  In a place that is perpetually damp and has no central heating the cold does get into your bones.

I have also noticed that weather forecasts are generally as reliable here as they are anywhere in the world.  By and large most weather forecasting outlets are not to be trusted.  I have found that my friend Mike over in HK usually has the most accurate storm updates.  Other than that I have to rely on the system I have developed after a year of living here.  It goes like this:

• Men & Women using umbrellas - it is raining
• Women using umbrellas - it is sunny
• People carrying umbrellas and not using them - they are smart and know the weather here can change at any moment.
• People wearing sweaters - it is probably around 20C
• People wearing parkas - it is probably around 10C - note, this does not apply to babies and small children who seem to be swaddle in multiple layers whatever the weather - poor kiddies can't move their arms.
• Foreigners sweating profusely - it is probably above 15C but humid.

The most accurate weather gauge I have found is with men and their shirts.  It works like this:

• wearing a sweater - about 20C
• wearing a t-shirt only - it is a warm, comfortable day - probably 25C
• same t-shirt is rolled up to expose their belly - it's getting warmer, nearing 30C

• same t-shirt lifted up and tucked behind their head it is hitting 30C (like this picture but all the way behind the head - sorry for the picture, I couldn't find a reference photo but I did find this awesome fun in my search - Babies Wearing Watermelons)

• And you know it is hot when the shirt is off & flung over the shoulder or tucked in the back of the pants

The men's t-shirt approach of weather forecasting does not discriminate on body type - the bigger the belly the more you rub it seems to be the only difference.  

And that is how I tell the weather in Shenzhen.  Judging by view out my window,  it hot.

Happy 中秋节 - Enjoy Mid-Autumn Festival

I love holidays.  Especially any holiday that gives you 3 days off in the middle of the week.  Mid-Autumn festival is a beautifully timed break coming 3 weeks after my 2 week home leave to Canada.  Of course like everything in China there is a complicated logic that is attached to this time off.

This year the 15th day of the 8th lunar month falls on a Thursday.  And it is a statutory day off in many Asian countries.  In most countries we would have to take the day off and then return to work the next day.  Mid-week celebrations of Canada Day always felt unfair to me.  Fortunately the Chinese government is much more sympathetic to it's people.  Instead of leaving the day off floating in the middle of the week or making people use precious vacation days to make a long weekend, the Chinese government wisely performs a "weekend shift".  This means we have Thursday, Friday and Saturday off but have to go to work on Sunday.  It sucks to have a 6 day work week the next week but the weekend shift makes it easier for people to travel back home to their families to celebrate the holiday.  It also means chaos at border crossings, airports, train stations and major highways...and some really complicated tracking of days off.

I know, it is confusing.  But I am extremely grateful for the abundance of time off.  Most of us expats spend a lot of our time being exhausted.  Work is tough and just living is a challenge because of language barriers.

It is also a nice chance to learn more about the Chinese culture. According to Wikipedia, the Mid- Autumn Festival Also know as the Moon Festival or Mooncake Festival, MAF (as we call it in Walmart) celebrates three fundamental concepts which are closely tied to one another:

• gathering - such as family and friends coming together, or harvesting crops

• thanksgiving - to give thanks for the harvest, or for harmonious unions

• praying - (asking for conceptual or material satisfaction), such as for babies, a spouse, beauty, longevity, or for a good future

So really MAF is the Chinese version of thanksgiving with moon cakes instead of turkey. 

Moon cakes are the traditional gift for this holiday and family rituals are built around the moon cake.  You should eat your moon cake with pomelo under the new Harvest moon as a family unit.  The oldest member of the family will cut up the moon cake and share the pieces amongs the family.  Here is a picture of the traditional moon cake with an egg inside:

They are beautifully crafted, with elaborate designs and come in many flavours.  Looking at them you are really tempted to take a big bite.  And as a newcomer to China you could easily believe that they were a favourite delicacy - the shelves of stores are filled with massive amounts of moon cakes in all sizes, many being displayed in beautiful decorative tins.

Imagine my surprise when I learned that Moon Cakes are the fruitcake of Asia.  There are stories of moon cakes being regifted for years, moving from family to family and co-worker to co-worker.  And most are never eaten.  Because most people feel they taste terribly - a co-worker likened them to the taste of death.  Fortunately my team has told me I don't need to eat the moon cakes - it is okay to thank the giver profusely and then throw them out.  If more people adopted this approach we would end the re-gifting epidemic once and for all.

Of course Walmart China adheres to tradition and is part of the moon cake conspiracy.  We received (from the Union - I should really blog about that soon) moon cakes as part of the wonderful gift pack we received.  In addition to two types of moon cakes (BlackBerry and Durian - which really smells like ass) we logically received 3 litres of milk, a bottle of French Wine and a cutlery set.

So I threw out the moon cakes (no one wanted them), gave the milk to team members with kids and took home the cutlery set and the bottle of wine.  And instead of following the Chinese tradition I toasted the Harvest Moon with some Canadians, sitting at an Irish Pub, eating Greek Salad and Hummus.  At least I was in China and took a look at the moon.  Right?

For a bit more on the mythology of MAF see the following excerpts from Lihui Yang's Handbook of Chinese Mythology:^[8]

In the ancient past, there was a hero named [Hou] Yi who was excellent at shooting. His wife was Chang'e. One year, the ten suns rose in the sky together, causing great disaster to people. Yi shot down nine of the suns and left only one to provide light. An immortal admired Yi and sent him the elixir of immortality. Yi did not want to leave Chang'e and be immortal without her, so he let Chang'e keep the elixir. But Feng Meng, one of his apprentices, knew this secret. So, on the fifteenth of August in the lunar calendar, when Yi went hunting, Feng Meng broke into Yi's house and forced Chang'e to give the elixir to him. Chang'e refused to do so. Instead, she swallowed it and flew into the sky. Since she loved her husband very much and hoped to live nearby, she chose the moon for her residence. When Yi came back and learned what had happened, he felt so sad that he displayed the fruits and cakes Chang'e liked in the yard and gave sacrifices to his wife. People soon learned about these activities, and since they also were sympathetic to Chang'e they participated in these sacrifices with Yi.

Yang describes another version of the tale which provides a different reason for Chang'e ascending to the moon:

After the hero Houyi shot down nine of the ten suns, he was pronounced king by the thankful people. However, he soon became a conceited and tyrannical ruler. In order to live long without death, he asked for the elixir from Xiwangmu. But his wife, Chang'e, stole it on the fifteenth of August because she did not want the cruel king to live long and hurt more people. She took the magic potion to prevent her husband from becoming immortal. Houyi was so angry when discovered that Chang'e took the elixir, he shot at his wife as she flew toward the moon, though he missed. Chang'e fled to the moon and became the spirit of the moon. Houyi died soon because he was overcome with great anger. Thereafter, people offer a sacrifice to Chang'e on every lunar fifteenth of August to commemorate Chang'e's action.

Who says the Chinese aren't Innovative?

My first year in China has consisted of two things - figuring out how to live here and readjusting the stereotypes of China that were so firmly planted in my mind.

Probably the biggest misconception was that the Chinese are not innovative.  They are geniuses at copying/duplicating/standardizing.  Give them instructions or direction and they will relentlessly execute without question.

The Economist - How Innovative is China

I call bullshit to the stereotypes.  Anyone who has lived here can tell you the Chinese are extremely inventive.

Nowhere is Chinese innovation more on display than on a rainy day.  I have witnessed some of the best examples of innovation on the rainy streets of Shenzhen.  My particular favourites:

1. Rain Ponchos with a clear panel to let your scooter light shine through while you protect the items inside your front basket
2. Double headed ponchos - allowing two people to sit on a scooter and be protected from the rain.
3. Bicycle/Motorcycle Umbrellas - to be fair these are also used extensively in the sun to protect the rider from tanning.  The more sophisticated umbrellas are slightly elongated on one side - so they cover off your back.  True innovation is the guy who puts one across the handlebars of his bike like a rain screen - he is too frugal to buy the rain poncho listed above.
4. Children's raincoat with a Backback pop-out

Not to mention the myriad of ways garbage bags can be used as rainwear.  Among the variety I have seen - as a skirt, a hat, wrapped around a hat, as a jacket, as a shawl...here is a glimpse of what kinds of things you see  Beijing Garbage Bag fashion

It is really amazing to behold.

Back in the Saddle

I am back by popular demand!  Well, two people asked about my blog and I don't want to disappoint.  

I have been enjoying life here and continue to make notes on what I see and experience.  Unfortunately because of some very dire circumstances I was unable to access my Blog.  There is even a slightly entertaining story as to why I couldn't access it that actually says a lot about my life in China.    

It all started when I spilt Orange Soda on the keyboard of my MacBook.  I was drinking Orange Soda because I had a bout of "Shenzhen Stomach".  Shenzhen stomach is similar to Bali Belly, Beijing Belly, Montezuma's Revenge...you get the picture - that unexplained digestive illness often related to environmental causes.  

Why Orange Soda you ask?  I know it is not a good thing to drink when you are sick - I was actually craving good old Gingerale like my Momma used to give me when I was sick (preferably in a blue plastic tupperware cup, stirred with a spoon).  Unfortunately I was trapped in my apartment (I did not want to venture too far away from a western toilet), the online grocery delivery place (www.nogogo.com) was without GingerAle and I don't know the Chinese word for GingerAle.  As often happens in these situations we foreigners default to something else because it is too hard for us to explain what we want or what we mean.  In this case, I had a bottle of orange soda left over from a team party...I thought I would give it a try.

I am not the most graceful of people and illness doesn't improve on that state.  As I reached for a pen I spilled the Orange Soda all over my keyboard, desk, floor, clothing - well everywhere.  It was an epic spill.  It was also when I realised that the particular brand of orange soda I was drinking (which is a Chinese Brand) contains a a lot of dye.  Orange dye of course.  And it is pretty strong.  There was now a whole section of my apartment tinted orange.

I was able to mop up most of the spill from my computer and miraculously it still worked.  Okay, some of the keys were VERY sticky - and there were some words that it became too much of an effort to type.  Fortunately I have a thesaurus, a somewhat varied vocabulary and a natural laziness that was okay with finding other words to use.  I was at least able to surf the internet and use my mouse to click on things.

Then the ants came.  I noticed them on the desk first.  A lot of them.  I decided to follow their trail (ants are very organized and follow the same path as the ants that go before).  There was a virtual army of ants (thankfully not army ants) all marching in a very orderly manner to the outside balcony.  Having identified their point of origin I decided to find out what they were looking for and returned to my desk.  

The desk seemed to be the location of their target.  They did not venture past the desk towards the kitchen or dining area.  Now I admit, I sometimes eat at my desk while I play online.  I live alone and didn't have cable - don't judge me.  Since the desk was the apparent hotspot I decided that a through scrub was in order.  I cleaned the desk off with cleaner, checked the drawers for food and figured I was good.  The cleaning did stop the march of ants...temporarily.

A few days later I was back on my computer and noticed ants running across my screen.  Little tiny ants.  And then I noticed the ants were also coming out from my keyboard, in between my keys.  Figuring they were after crumbs from my previous meals I used canned air and sticky tape to clean any crumbs.  Mission accomplished, I had once again vanquished the ants.  Or so I thought

Anyone who has experienced ants in their house know that ants are very persistent.  Sure enough the next day there were more bloody ants than ever before - and the march was on in full swing.  They were climbing around in my keyboard, on the screen and on my desk.  And then it dawned on me - the orange soda.  Apparently these ants loved the dye and the sugar.  

After seeking advice online I decided to take the laptop to the newly opened Apple Store in town.  Now, anyone who has travelled to Asia knows what chaos an Apple store is.  I battled through the 200,000 people browsing the iPads to make my way to the Genius bar.  In my wonderfully inept Chinese I was unable to convey to them what had happened.  And they said my computer worked (which it did).  Sigh.

So I bought a new one (the computer was old anyway - and I was tired of the ants), ordering it online and delivering to friends in Fayetteville. It is significantly less expensive to buy Apple products in the US even though they are made down the road from Shenzhen.  I blissfully set it up and started using my shiny new MacBook while I was back in the US - it was perfect.  I transferred my iTunes over, added some programs I loved and forgot about my iPad for a few days.  Unfortunately I forgot an important thing.  I forgot to install a VPN program.  In the US with your unfettered access to the internet and your speedy internet speeds lulled me back to better times - life in a high speed, all access world.  And I forgot.  I blame you America.

Anyone who has lived in China knows that a VPN is necessary to access things like Google, Social Media, Blogs...and since my Blog is on Blogger (which hits 3 of those banned items - Social Media, Blog and Google) I was not able to access.  

So I waited until my trip back to Canada, hauled my laptop back with me (its an MacBook Air so using the word hauled is a trifle dramatic), installed a VPN on my computer and hauled it back...

Only to discover that apparently the Chinese government has removed restrictions on things like Facebook and Blogger....so I can access them freely...

Sigh.  My life in China.  

To Squat or Not...

I am back...sorry for my long hiatus from this blog.  There are no excuses except laziness. I have been collecting ideas and pulling together resources to share with you all though.  I have tried to focus on the mostly positive things about living in China.  This serves two purposes - it helps lure prospective visitors and it keeps me focused on the fun.  So many ExPats just like to complain about the things they hate and I find this leads me down a tunnel of home sickness and misery.

But I think the time has finally come for me to discuss one of the more challenging aspects of living in Culture.  That is the squat toilet

The squat toilet is a common sight here in China.  The picture of a very clean but pretty standard squat toilet above was taken in my office.  On each floor the majority of bathrooms have 1 western toilet and the rest squat toilets like this one.

Using these toilets can be tricky and requires some coordination.   Squatting is especially challenging for most North Americans because it is so different from what we are used to.  It requires balance, strong thighs and some aim.  I have to confess these things scare the hell out of me.  I know they are common throughout the world and are said to promote better intestinal health than conventional North American toilets.  But they do scare me.

The squat vs. sit toilet is also a clear marker between Asian Culture and Western Culture.  Western sitting toilets are found in most western establishments (Starbucks, McDonald's, Most ExPat restaurants) but they pose a difficulty for Asians.  They are used to squatting and will attempt to squat on the edge of the toilets (see the picture below).

 If there there are no platforms on the sides of the toilet bowl serious accidents are a likelihood.  People's feet slip off the edge, toilet's topple over and in all likelihood you are going to have to touch the bathroom floor.  Squatting also increases the likelihood that the toilet will break.  Common problems are tipping, cracking or shifting them off their moorings.  This is an example of a platform that can sit alongside a conventional Western Style toilet, allowing safety and freedom to choose your defecating preference.

Walmart had built some Distribution Centres in China and the leader, a Westerner, approved putting in Western Style toilets.  Within a few months they were all broken because there were no "squatting alternatives".  So we pulled them out and installed squat toilets, leaving one sitting toilet for disabled and western usage.  It is usually where they store the mops because it is used so infrequently.

Starbucks in China even has an official sign ensuring the safety of it's patrons and the longevity of it's porcelain thrones.

This is not to say the Chinese do not enjoy the Western Toilet.  They have come to appreciate it's presence in the western locations and have also found other uses for them...I attach pictures from two of Shenzhen's Toilet Restaurants:

I will let the pictures of the Toilet Restaurants speak for themselves...because there are no words.

I have lived in China since July and I have only had to "squat" once - when I had my health check.  Since that was technically before I moved here that means I have actually never squatted since arriving.  I maintain a long list of restaurants/bars/hotels that have Western Style toilets to avoid the squat and I am proud of my no squat status.  And no worries though friends, if you come an visit I will honour your freedom to choose to Squat or Not...

I love you China but please stop picking your nose in public.

One of the questions I am asked most frequently by locals and foreigners alike is "how do you like China?".  Coming back to Shenzhen from Vancouver, chatting with some Walmart visitors from the US and meeting some ex-pats here has reinforced in my mind that I actually like China.  It's not Canada, Arkansas, Ireland, England, Poland or any of a number of countries that have captured my soul in the past.  But I do like it...and it is carving out its place in my soul too.

It amazes me how people who have lived here for years hate China so much.  Or if they actually do like it you wouldn't know for all the complaining they do.  They hate the food, the people, the way things are done and the fact that no one understands what they are saying.  Here is my view on it

• It is unreasonable to come to a foreign country (any country) and be disappointed or let down because they don't have enough normal food for you.  This is China people.  The "normal" food here is Chinese.
• So you think the Western Food is not as good as back home.  There are exceptions to this of course but in general one of the biggest complaints I hear is that "XX food is not as good as back home" or McDonald's doesn't taste the same.  Newsflash folks.  Chinese food in North America (outside of China Towns in large metro cities) does not taste the same as back home in China.  I have been blown away by the flavour and variety of food here...and nary a Chicken Ball in sight
• It is unreasonable to expect people to understand you when speak English (especially when you speak really fast).  I know it is frustrating to not be able to communicate and it definitely makes things harder but people in China speak Chinese.  It is their native language.  And according to the HSBC posters in the Vancouver airport there are more people learning English in China than live in the entire country of England.  Learn some Chinese people (oh my, I am becoming a Chinese red-neck).  

The best part of my experience here so far are the people.  I have met funny, warm, ambitious, smart engaged people here.  Yep, they don't do things in the same way I do (which can be quite funny or frustrating sometimes) but I have learned a couple of lessons - there is more than one way to do things and we don't have to always do it my way.  

I think as long as I keep remembering I am a visitor here and I have as much (if not more) to learn from the Chinese as they do from me I should be fine and avoid the black hole of bitterness amongst some I have met.  That being said I do have some requests please:

• STOP PICKING YOUR NOSE IN PUBLIC - and this includes in my Taxi (you know who you are Taxi Driver from Sunday night), on the bus, metro, in a meeting, in the office, in a store...IT IS GROSSING ME OUT!
• Also please don't pick other parts of your body in front of me including toes, scabs, ears, zits...
• Do not horn up a big loogie and spit it on the ground in front of me (or worse, on my toes).
• You don't all have to fit into one elevator.  There will be others.  There always are.  The same goes for Metro Cars.

Most importantly, keep reminding me that there is joy in our differences - and frequently humour.  As long as we remember this we will be fine.

Exercise Chinese Style

After a wonderful, glorious trip to Vancouver where I was able to see some of my favourite people in the world, play with some of my favourite kids and watch me honorary brother get married while my real brother and bestie stood up for him.  It was a magical, cool (as in not stinking hot) trip that was a nice break.  Ironically it was not a break from all things Chinese because of the high Chinese population in the Lower Mainland area of BC.  We even stumbled on a Chinese/Taiwanese festival of some sorts that was like walking along the street in front of my house - Chinese medicine practitioners, People selling lots of stuff and weird (to me) food.

I was a bit worried about coming back.  Last winter I had a major depressive episode after spending Christmas in Ontario.  I am not sure if it was leaving the kids, my brothers and SIL and my other friends or if it was a case of SAD but it was hard.  And a wee bit scary.

Luckily this time coming home felt just like that - coming home.  It felt familiar and comfortable and fortunately not quite as screaming hot as when I left.  And I was able to comfortably settle back in to observing the Chinese in action.

My new favourite thing is the Chinese exercise regime and the sheer lack of self-consciousness they bring to it.  It might be because they were taught to exercise from a very early age and see it as a normal part of their lifestyle.  Besides the office work-out (which I will video really soon - I am getting quite good at it) the Chinese truly exercise everywhere and seem to get away without paying the high gym fees.

The local parks have public exercise equipment for the general public.  In fact I have a set of equipment right beside my apartment building.  And people use it - all the time.  They do push-ups, chin-ups, hang from the bars, do the twist on this twisty circle thing (sorry for the overly technical language) and ride the manual exercise bikes (see the video on the link above - it's not mine but it was a good illustration).

And they don't need equipment.  Chinese women regularly do Tai Chi in the morning in just about any large open space.  Of course we see this in North America too but I always find it magical.  Especially when you run into it in the middle of the sidewalk as you walk by.  They are usually accompanied by some badminton players. Those of you who watched badminton during the Olympics know the Chinese do not play the quiet, leisurely game we remember from summer afternoons in the backyard.  Some of the games get vicious (and these are usually the older people - really good badminton kids are sent to badminton schools so they can win the olympics).

The seawalk in front of my building is filled with walkers who clap their hands, swing their arms, stretch, jump up and down and make loud noises (very startling when you first hear them).  My all-time favourite though is the backward walkers.  There are these women who complete half their walk backwards while swinging their arms and counting.

I am really hoping they inspire me to be less self-conscious in my own exercise routine...but in the meantime I love watching them from my balcony.

Adventures in Ikea Furniture Assembly - the Saga continues...and Ends...

Last time we met I was describing the feeling of utter dread I felt as I surveyed the pile of boxes that constituted my new Karsten sectional sofa...

My elation over the successful order and delivery was now replaced by disbelief.  Surely one cannot assemble an entire Ikea sectional sofa using an allen Key.  And where were the directions anyway?  And why is it, in making them universal they are understandable to no one?  PANIC?

After a few minutes of hyper ventilation I rallied.  There has to be a solution - I can't just leave this pile of boxes in the middle of my living room - it would not be the comfortable nap place I envisioned.  Okay Sharon, you are smart...let's think...

Wait, doesn't Ikea offer an assembly service? I am sure I have heard of this from others...For a few Yuan I could have someone take care of this mess for me.  Excellent.  Now I just have to figure out how to arrange for this to happen...time to call in the team!

Now I am going to let you in on the true secret of my survival so far.  I like to think it is my own feisty independence and sense of adventure but the truth is...my team at Walmart China saves my butt several times a day.  I have 4 of the most amazing women on my team.  They are mostly amazing because of their ability to sort out any weird situation I get myself into.  They write me notes, communicate with my cleaning lady, landlord, driver, delivery people...you name it they organize for me.  I was fully confident they were going to help me sort this.

After a rather long and complicated procedure (involving multiple telephone calls, my driver going to Ikea with some money and my receipt and several more telephone calls) it was all set...on Saturday someone was coming to my apartment to assemble the sofa.  Yahoo!  I can't wait for Saturday!

When Saturday arrived I was prepared.  Because most things in China seem to take a lot longer than I think they should I blocked my day.  I was ready.  I had my team on stand-by to explain any weirdness.  The air-conditioning was on creating a nice ambient temperature for sofa assembly.  I was so excited I was tempted to bake him a cake.

At 9:10 my hero arrived...and spent the next 37 minutes assembling an Ikea sectional sofa by himself.  Even though the instructions clearly show this is at least a two person job (to be fair he did use a drill and an hammer - clear proof of the allen key hoax).  Without reservation I must say this nameless man is my hero.  Like all heroes he achieved superhuman results with seeming little effort...and it looked a little something like this:

Figuring out what Sharon did, opening the boxes and beginning to assemble the sofa

 In go the legs...At least I think that is what he is doing...

 Starting to come together...

Never looked at the instructions once...

 And never put anything together in the order specified on the instructions (I knew it was all a lie)

It even has cushions

It looks like a sofa now...

My hero taking a well earned rest - after just over 1/2 hour of work...

And my sofa is done...time for my nap!

Ikea, the same the world over.

Okay, I have posted some things about my trips to Ikea - like people sleeping in the various beds and the family photo shoot in various "rooms" (actually quite ingenious if you ask me).  Ikea in Shenzhen is certainly and adventure - especially if you don't like crowds.  I have to say though, besides the awesome people watching Ikea in China is pretty much the same as the Ikea stores back home.  They all have the cheap Meatballs (these cost about $2 USD)

The store furniture looks pretty much the same - I don't see any "special Chinese" styles or anything (that is right, a decided lack of gold gilt, frills and Louis the something styles).  And of course they sell tea lights by the thousands (and once again I felt compelled to stock up because they were both cheap and useful...I now own 1 billion tea lights spread across 3 countries).

My main problem with the Ikea in Shenzhen is that they don't speak English or rather I don't speak Mandarin.  And all the signs are in made-up Swedish and Chinese (I refuse to believe that Tord Bjorklund is real).

Those of you familiar with the Ikea model know this lack of sign clarity is not a problem for most shoppers.  You can still find things by their handy-dandy system of aisle/location tagging (see red tag)...if you have shopped one Ikea you can shop them all...as long as you are okay with only buying things with a red tag or off the shelf.  The real trouble comes from the dreaded yellow tag - because we all know this means you have to talk to someone to order what you want...

Now I have to say I was pretty proud of myself.  Using my very limited Mandarin (Hello!), my iPhone and a delivery pamphlet I was able to communicate that I wanted to buy, in the right size (I hoped) and colour (again, I hoped) an Ikea mattress and a sectional sofa.  I was even able to arrange for delivery (after we figured out that it had to be delivered in the next 5 days and I couldn't wait for the next weekend).   I came away from the whole experience feeling pretty proud of myself.  So proud I walked over to the Ikea grocery place (past the long line of people lined up for soft ice-cream and the $1 hot dogs) and bought myself a big bottle of vodka - well, mostly because I could.  You aren't in NW Arkansas anymore girl.  Life was good and I was feeling happy... until they delivered everything...

Delivery day (Wednesday) started out well.  I got to leave work half-way through the day to meet the always huge deliver window on a beautiful sunny day.  Even better true to my awesomeness, the furniture is delivered right on schedule which meant I was going to have the rest of the afternoon to nap on my new sofa.

Feeling pretty smug I open the door to the tiny little Chinese Man single handedly wrangling my new queen size mattress.  Woot - the guest bed is here - I am open for business...Awesome.  This feeling of euphoria lasted about 6.2 seconds...long enough for me to look out into the hall and realize that the Ikea business model does indeed mean you put it together yourself...as witnessed by the multitude of boxes strewn in the foyer.  Crap, I forgot to arrange for someone to put this stuff together and now my new sofa is in a bunch of boxes...what am I going to do now?

After a few moments of dread and nausea I said to myself "Okay Sharon, you are a modern woman and more than capable...You can do this, where is the Damn Allen Key?!!!"

This optimism lasted just about long enough to unpack about 3 boxes...that was when I knew I had a big big problem...

Tune in next time to see just how Shenzhen Sharon solved this vexing dilemma...

Shopping in Shenzhen

Shopping is serious business in Shenzhen.  Shopping Malls seem to be the cultural centres - or at least the place you meet up with friends.  We say things like - Meet you at Coco Park, or there is a new restaurant at MixC we should check out.  Besides lots of shops these malls also feature restaurants & bars (including many popular US brands like Kenny Rogers, Papa John's, Pizza Hut, KFC, Burger King & McDonalds), coffee shops, play areas, movie theatres and, in at least two - skating rinks.

This focus on shopping is understandable really.  China is experiencing an exploding middle class and we are probably seeing the same conspicuous consumption we saw with the burgeoning middle class in North America.  Except this is on a China scale while multiplies everything by about 1 million.  Brands rule here...Gucci, LV, Dior, Coach, Adidas...fortunately they don't need to be real.  A trip to the most famous Shenzhen Mall will quickly show you that.  Louhu Commercial City is the place to visit to obtain any real fakes...even Rolex for $10.  There are other places to buy Knock-Offs but this is the most famous.  It is just across the border from Hong Kong and mobbed on weekends.  For the Shenzhen resident this helps you keep in style and avoid the luxury foreign brand tax.  Besides, as I am often told, they are made in the same factory as the real ones...

Shopping is also an excellent pass-time because of the crazy oppressive heat.  Now, I know you are all going to tell me how hot it is in Bentonville, Toronto, Winnipeg etc...and I will not dispute that.  But Shenzhen is a subtropical, humid kind of hot that is unrelenting in its persistence.  A short walk to the metro station can reduce you to a bucket of dripping, water pouring down your back, sweaty mess.  As they say back home - it's not the heat it's the humidity.

Fortunately our malls here in Shenzhen posses some of the best air-conditioning around.  It makes them a great place to walk around and people watch without dying in the above mentioned heat.  And to partake in the most popular of pastimes...the shopping trip.  Some things I have learned:

1. Aggressive hospitality means something entirely different in China.  If you so much as slip a toe over the threshold of a store you are immediately "welcomed" by salespeople showing you the multitude of wares they have for sale.  Some stores don't even wait for you to come in and have associates standing in the mall encouraging you to visit their stores.  For shoppers like me who appreciate browsing in quiet it is overwhelming.
2. The Promoter is everywhere...Promoters are a bit different in China.  Unlike North America they are not the kindly mother-like woman providing samples of whatever delicious snack they are featuring today (ah, Sunday morning breakfast at Sam's Club...).  These promoters are in every section of the store and are paid by the manufacturer to promote their products.  THese promoters are super good at the aggressive hospitality mentioned above.  Remember how you always wish you can find a salesperson to help you in Walmart...not an issue in China.  In fact I wish they would leave me alone.  I do not need help selecting toilet cleaner or feminine protection (well I do but that is because I don't speak Chinese and that is not the point I am trying to make here).
3. Weigh Stations...this is not some diet guru thing...but it did take me a while to figure out.  Instead of weighing your produce at the check-outs, with the cashier looking up the PLU on that roll thing in front of her, you get your produce weighed at the weigh station while you are in the produce area.  I did not know this at first and couldn't understand why the cashiers kept taking away my produce and not letting me buy it.  I eventually learned in a small store here in Shekou.  
4. Merchandise is not always well thought out and put in logical places (by my US/Canadian Standards).  For instance I encountered a men's wear store that also sold women's purses.  Or they put produce and bakery at the back of the store.  They also put together some interesting displays.
5. It is common to see customers pawing through the bulk rice bins to check the quality of the rice before purchasing it.  They pick up handfuls and let the rice run through their fingers looking to see if it is good.  After witnessing most of the Chinese population openly picking their noses this means I buy all rice in a bag.
6. There are a lot of different kinds of cooking oil...it is big business here.  And apparently it varies by region.  LIke whole rows dedicated to cooking oil...all apparently the same but not.  At least that is what I think the promoters are telling me.
7. Store names are not selected because of the accuracy of the words but more because they sound nice.  It results in weird combinations and made up words.  I am putting together a photo essay on this one.
8. Negotiation is expected in street shops, road-side vendors and the Commercial City mall.  It is not done in chain stores and supermarkets...usually.

All in all I actually love shopping in China - it is great for people watching and I am getting some great material together for my other photo essay tentatively titled "The Chinese can sleep Anywhere".

Whew, What a Week & the art of the Chinese Conference

Just finished a week that saw me attend 2 conferences in 2 different cities (Xiamen & Beijing).  It was a blast although again very surreal as the only (and I am not exaggerating here) white person and almost the only English speaking person at both conferences.

The first conference was in Xiamen for the Chinese Chain Store & Franchise Association (CCFA) and was focused on HR issues in the market.  I also got to attend two "Salons" on cooperation between enterprise and vocational schools to train future retailers.  It was action packed and I actually learned a lot, thanks to my trusty translator Gail.  I even squeezed in a day of store visits.

The second session was hosted by MOFCOM - I am not sure what that stands for but it is a Ministry of the Chinese Government and involves cooperation between Enterprises and Vocational Schools (yep, there was a theme to my week).  This was set in Beijing and was an introduction to so many aspects of the Chinese culture my head is spinning - of course that may also be residual effects of air pollution poisoning.

Some things I learned:

1. It is appropriate to sleep in meetings - the head bob, the chair lean back mouth open or head on the table method are all acceptable - even in the presence of a high ranking government official
2. It is also appropriate to take a telephone call during said meeting.  And talk loudly while doing it. As long as you cover your mouth in an attempt to hide what you are doing.
3. Picking your nose, ears, teeth, pimples, scabs, feet, nails etc. is common practice during meetings - and seems to increase in frequency during boring speeches (a good visual clue for the speakers)
4. Be quick to get the free conference gifts as they will sell out quickly.  In fact, get up during the conversations to go get yours - you don't want to be left out.
5. When you are the only white person in a room or at a conference and/or you represent the largest retailer in the world (I am not sure if these are mutually exclusive) everyone wants to take your picture and will walk up to you during the meeting and take said picture.  This makes being subtle about #2 important if you don't want it caught on camera.
6. Every meeting ends in a group photo.  And people also like to have their picture taken with the only white person/representative of the largest retailer in the world.  So be prepared.
7. You will give out more business cards in 1 day in China than you would in a whole year in Canada/US.  And there is a specific ritual to the whole thing.  I am starting to get the hang of it.  You present and receive the card with two hands.  You bow and make reverential noises while scanning the card.  And then you present your card to the other person.  
8. If you get invited to the dinner after the conference be prepared...but more on that in another blog.

I have to say I was so privileged to participate in these meetings over the last few days - and I really did learn a lot.  Mostly I learned that the Chinese are much more open and friendly than people give them credit for - and they love to LAUGH - which is always good in my books.  Now if I could just figure out if they were laughing at me.

You Are Wearing that to Work? & Other Office Related Cultural Differences

I want to start this post with a disclaimer.  I love my fellow associates. They are smart, engaged, helpful, funny and reacting well to the challenge of suddenly doing a large part of their jobs in English. But that does not mean I understand all their customs.  

1. You are wearing what?  This mostly applies to the women in the office and most notably the young women in the office.  The men wear dress pants and a short-sleeved or long-sleeved dress shirt.  The women wear...well whatever the hell they want to wear.  The shorter, tighter and cuter the better.  And by cute I mean Mickey Mouse, Hello Kitty cute.  In particular I have seen Playboy t-shirts, short shorts, short skirts, long tops with no pants all paired with impossibly high heels.  One assistant was wearing a see-through top and short boy shorts with lace trim...and nothing else.  It takes some getting used to.
2. Christmas decorations all year round.  There are Santa Clauses and Snowmen everywhere.  And lovely strands of tinsel.  Some angels.  Reindeer and one or two Christmas trees scattered through the office.  And it is July.
3. The tea dump bucket.  The Chinese love tea and there are an infinite variety of teas, many customized to the individual and including things like tea leaves, flowers, mushrooms/fungus.  They drink these teas loose (nary a tea bag in site).  As a perk we have water filters throughout the office featuring hot and cold water, the hot water temperature closely monitored by a digital readout assuring the tea drinker that the water is at boiling.  In front of each one is a bucket.  It took me awhile to figure out what the bucket was for.  Apparently that is where you throw your cold tea and leftover tea leaves.  Right there in the middle of the office.  All day long I hear sounds that are reminiscent of dumping something into a toilet bowl.  
4. The desk nap.  This is pretty universal in China and something I plan on adopting if I can just get up the nerve.  It is common place to see associates with their heads on their desks (well actually on pillows that sit on top of their desks) apparently sound asleep.  They will do this during their lunch breaks.  It is a bit weird and reminds me of kindergarten.  But I also think it is brilliant and don't begrudge them a little cat-nap.  After all they are on break. 
5. My favourite thing is not unique to our offices - other people have told me they do it in other companies.  This is the office exercises.  Apparently the routine is the same one you learn in school.  They will play music and this strict sounding man runs you through a series of bends and twists.  The whole office does them in unison.  Like communist aerobics.  I will definitely videotape and post someday soon.  I love doing them.  It is a nice break in the afternoon.  And it is hard to get stressed out when you see your co-workers swinging their arms over their heads.

I am sure there will be more - these are just my current favourites.  I love working in China - weirdness and all.

Sizing up your neighbour's underwear

So, after a week of torrential rain & typhoons we are finally having beautiful weather again.  Sunny blue skies and NO water falling from the sky.

This means a few things here in Shenzhen.  People are once again outside walking with their umbrellas (used to shade the face from the sun) and the sidewalks are crowded with people walking, sleeping, eating, playing, lounging and generally living life.  It reminds me of Vancouver - as soon as the sun comes out so do the people.

It also means that it is once again safe to hang your washing outside to dry.  Most people in China (myself included) do not have tumble dryers.  We hang our clothes to dry using a number of ingenious and practical approaches (when I was in Shanghai last year people threw their sheets over the bushes in the park to dry). For the apartment dweller with balconies or other private outdoor space the act of drying clothes is slightly less adventurous - we are privileged to have space to place our drying racks or string up clothes lines.

This means that as I sit out on my balcony enjoying the above mentioned sunshine I am able to see what the neighbours are drying.  And check out their underwear.  The older couple below me shocked me with the gentleman's selection of speedo style gitch...some with amusing colours/patterns.  I tried to take a picture but he spends most of his time sitting on the balcony (guarding his underwear from thieves no doubt).  Since I am not quite able to say "sorry for spying but I am writing a blog and wanted to feature your underwear" in Mandarin I feel that I should wait awhile before posting the pictures.

I can only imagine what they are saying about my polkadot panties!

I think my temporary driver is trying to kill me

Okay, I *may* be a bit dramatic...but I suspect Mr. Li is trying to kill me.  Or at least make me vomit.

My regular driver Fred is wonderful.  He is a good driver...he slows down for potholes, rarely needs to honk his horn and knows all the good short-cuts in town.  He drives so smoothly I am able to read in the car without feeling sick at the end of the ride.  Unfortunately Fred is on leave for two weeks...and Mr. Li is my driver.

I was a bit scared the first day but wrote it off to the aftermath of the typhoon.  The flooding, debris and fallen trees all were perfectly acceptable reasons for weaving all over the road.  Even the several near death brushes with other cars as we swerved to avoid random stuff seemed reasonable.  The fact he was driving very fast despite these obstacles I wrote off to his worry I would miss my 8:30 meeting because traffic was so bad.  After all he is very quick to leap out of the car to open my door (a nice reminder of some the southern gentleman manners I had been introduced to in Arkansas) and help me with my bag - he must be a nice person right?

That night, in crazy traffic, he rushed my friend and colleague Simon to the train station.  Traffic of course was horrendous and the jerky stop and go approach to driving was again easily attributed to the sheer numbers of crazy drivers on the road and the continued torrential downpour...Oh and rushed meant the longest drive to the train station ever...but again maybe that was because roads were still closed because of the typhoon and there was a lot of traffic.

But then I began to notice a trend. First the seemingly random abrupt braking that sends all my belongings to the floor of the car - always conveniently timed to interrupt a important email I am typing or jolt me awake when I am just about to get a good snooze on.

I have also looked out the window to suddenly see someone so alarmingly close to hitting us that I couldn't help but scream.  This is usually accompanied by a sharp car honk from Mr. Li - as if saying "mission accomplished, we scared the crap out of her".

The worse is the car-sickness though.  Among his talents Mr. Li is the master of hitting potholes, road obstructions, curbs... well you get the idea.  He does this at top speed only to slam on his brakes and swerve.  He also enjoys swerving randomly between lanes...now swerving between lanes is a common pass-time amongst Chinese drivers...but usually it is to avoid the above mentioned obstructions or to find a quicker path in the flow of traffic.  Mr. Li on the other hand is a fan of the random swerve even when the road is empty.  If he can make my belongings slide across the seat even better.  I have survived the back roads of Arkansas without once feeling car sick.  Now I arrive at every destination wishing I had taken gravel before I left.

The cherry on top comes every morning when he takes his newly created short-cut...the wrong way down a one way street.

I would take a video but I am too busy squeezing my eyes shut and clinging to the "oh shit" handle while I pray to everyone's gods...and Fred is not back for another week.

Wo Hen Gaoshing (I am very Happy)

I am feeling very reflective tonight - and not the shining in the dark kind of reflective.  I am sitting in my still boiling hot apartment (yep, no A/C yet), in the tail end of a Typhoon (not as bad as it sounds...just LOTS of rain), far away from most of my friends and family.  I should be miserable.  At another time in my life I would definitely be depressed & homesick.

But I am not.

I am happy.  Very happy.  I just finished my first Mandarin class and I am energized and excited and in love with this amazing adventure.  I felt like I was in kindergarden again, learning the sounds of the different letters (I have to admit most of my early pronunciation sounds like a hybrid between french, polish and spanish).  And it was fun to be unselfconsciously bad at something.

I think moving to Arkansas showed me all the great things that come when you get unstuck, vulnerable and try something crazy and new.  People that knew me thought I was crazy when I moved to Arkansas.  On the surface it met none of the criteria of a place I would want to live.

• It was in the US (sorry my American friends)
• It was very far away from most of my family and not even close to the family I have in the US
• It was not in a big city nor was it close to any big cities
• It was not particularly cosmopolitan
• I really only knew two people there

But it worked for me.  I loved being in a small town.  I loved experiencing Tailgating and a real SEC college football town (WOO PIG SOOIE).  I loved seeing the stars at night and hot summer nights in February.  I loved access to cultural events at ridiculously low prices, and drive thru everything (banking, dry cleaning, liquor, post office, library)...and I loved the friends I met.  For the first time in a very long time I put myself out there and meet new people.  And wow, the people I met were amazing.  I had so much fun experiencing all the "Only in Arkansas" things with them.  It was like going to camp - but as a grown-up.  You had to be there to get it...and nothing will ever be the same.

And now, because of that experience I know this one will be amazing, fun and funny.  I will continue being an explorer of this world and meet new people.  And I will continue being happy.

I always feel like somebody's watching me...

There are surveillance cameras everywhere in Shenzhen.  In general this doesn't bother me - most big cities have cameras everywhere these days.  The debate in London over their cameras is fierce and, if you watch an episode of NCIS you have an understanding of how all these different cameras can be used to capture our activities.  But sometimes it is good to remind yourself that you are probably being watched to avoid embarassment.

Today I had to visit the property management office to replace/fix my building access card - it didn't work and I was only able to get into my building if I tailgated.  Not a problem through the ground level front door, more tricky when my driver drops me off in the parking garage.

Anyway, I walked over to the property management building on the other side of the compound (community, apartment complex?), up the two flights of stairs to ask for help.  Of course the duty manager did not speak English and my Mandarin skills are limited so he phoned a friend (my current favourite survival technique in China by the way).

After much explaining and misunderstanding I was directed to the main gate.  And they directed me to the security office.  Now, I know there is security in this complex - there are guards at the gates and in the parking garage and you see the young men wandering around with their red armbands.  What I didn't think about was the secret room with 30 television screens watching all aspects of life at Costal Rose Garden 2.

While they fiddled around with my card (in true local fashion everyone came over to see what this Laowai had done) I enjoyed the frigid air conditioning and watched people t.v.  It was then I realized they have cameras in all the elevators.  If I was observant I would have realized this myself - it makes sense that the glass bubble in the corner of the elevator houses a camera.  To see the full display of all the elevators in all the buildings was overwhelming and I was mortified. You see, the elevators have mirrors in them and, without a full length mirror in my apartment I use the elevator mirrors to adjust my outfits every morning and every time I go out.  Sometimes this means readjusting things...which because I am alone didn't seem like a big deal.  Until I realized that someone is indeed watching me.

Today I am going to buy a full-length mirror for my apartment.